Wise Women Also Came
"There is a custom, rooted in Ireland, of celebrating Epiphany (January 6, which brings the Christmas season to a close) as Women’s Christmas. Called Nollaig na mBan in Irish, Women’s Christmas originated as a day when the women, who often carried the domestic responsibilities all year, took Epiphany as an occasion to celebrate together at the end of the holidays, leaving hearth and home to the men for a few hours. Celebrated particularly in County Cork and County Kerry, the tradition is enjoying a revival" says Jan Richardson in her Women's Christmas Retreat (a free pdf download to work through. Art also by Jan.)
I was 43 when I spent my first Christmas outside of my parents' home. A bride of 9 weeks in a new city with two (of four) step kids at home. I missed my family in Virginia, and I was already exhausted when we got to Christmas Day. So much preparation--the meals, the gifts, the stockings, the angst of new step-mothering on a first big holiday.
When Christmas Eve came, we went to church. And then, because we had yet to create some new traditions, we shot baskets in the driveway. I have never been so proud of an athletic accomplishment as when I beat David (then 15) at H-O-R-S-E. Later, we watched Elf, the fireplace ablaze beside the twinkling of the tree. The kids curled up on the couch, Bob winking at me from across the room. I smiled at his smile, yet I was emotionally--and in all ways exhausted--and we'd barely begun the school break and holiday season. I needed Women's Christmas when it was all done!
That was 10 years ago. My appreciation for all that women do each holiday knows no bounds. How little I knew of the emotional weight of it, until I became responsible for a home myself. After it's all unwrapped and put away, Bob knows I'm going to need some extra naps and rest. And time with my girlfriends. The ones who, like Jan's poem below suggests, bring water, fire and blankets--all that is needed for a new life, a new year.
Wise Women Also Came
Wise women also came.
The fire burned
in their wombs
long before they saw
the flaming star
in the sky.
They walked in shadows,
trusting the path
would open
under the light of the moon.
Wise women also came,
seeking no directions,
no permission
from any king.
They came
by their own authority,
their own desire,
their own longing.
They came in quiet,
spreading no rumors,
sparking no fears
to lead
to innocents’ slaughter,
to their sister Rachel’s
inconsolable lamentations.
Wise women also came,
and they brought
useful gifts:
water for labor’s washing,
fire for warm illumination,
a blanket for swaddling.
Wise women also came,
at least three of them,
holding Mary in the labor,
crying out with her
in the birth pangs,
breathing ancient blessings
into her ear.
Wise women also came,
and they went,
as wise women always do,
home a different way.
How might you honor yourself as the new year begins?
JUDY
P.S. Beth and our friend Kelly McSwain are beginning a circle of some leaning into silence and solitude. Weekly on Thursdays beginning February 3 (at Kelly's in Duluth), a group will gather to consider Ruth Haley Barton's Invitation to Silence and Solitude. Contact Beth for more information. Grab and friend and join in!